Grateful 365 #44 – The Only Girl in the World

If you’ve been within 100 ft. of the news (televised, telegraphed, written or otherwise), you’re probably aware that it’s been snowing in Georgia again. Yes, yes. Infrastructure breakdown, power outages, a city in turmoil…

masshysteria

For me it was a snow day. I felt well and was able to eat, chat on facetime, do some writing for myself and for the site. …And then in an amazing atomic-level attack on productivity, I decided I would do my first few dungeons with others on Neverwinter. When I looked back up from the screen, it was 3am, and I was stir crazy.

So I bundled up and went for a walk.

snowwalkNow everytime I mention a late night walk, there’s at least one person who gasps in horror. If you feel so inclined, go ahead and get it out of the way. I’ll wait. Done? Awesome.

Personally, I was more worried about slipping and unceremoniously busting my face or ass or both. Bodily harm a la ice was, and continues to be, much more real to me than this idea that as night falls, serial killers spring from the bushes and wait for unsuspecting prey. 29 years and I have yet to meet any representative of  these burly, hand wringing, darty eyed, collectors of lady-organs, but I honestly feel that if any of them wanted my kidneys, they’d likely take them regardless of what time it was. Ice, on the other hand, puts the fear of God and gravity in me. So if it was icy or I had any trouble with traction, I’d just head back in.

I passed the overhang of the carport and took my first tentative steps. The snow compacted underheel with a satisfying crunch and I sighed with relief. Snow, I could cope with. …And it looked like it was all snow. I proceeded forward.

It didn’t look like 3am. The blazing white blanket that covered the snowalk2entire landscape caught the moon’s gaze and spilled mystic blue light into the air from all angles. The roads were barely touched. The sidewalk even less so. I made it a fair half mile before I saw another set of foot prints, and even those were shrunken and faded by the still falling snow.

The illuminated evening glittered with lazy flakes that twirled down around me. Beyond the crunch of each step as I moved, there was no sound, no motion at all.

I felt like the only girl in the world.girl

Kroger was open and I bought a soda and drank it while talking to the sole clerk and security guard–both stuck there and bored from an inactive shift. It was a nice moment of camaraderie, but I found myself anxious to get back out into the night. Snap some more pictures. Drink in the scene with my eyes. Immortalize the moment.

It’s rare to feel so alone, but there’s a peace to it that is just indescribable.kroger

I’m so grateful I was able to experience it. …I may have to rethink my once negative opinion of snow.
~all the love~

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365 Grateful #2 – Home

Today was chemo, and as such involved leaving the house early and returning relatively drained.

However, perhaps there’s no better time to appreciate something like the meaning of “home” then when you yearn for it the most.

Home is many things to many people, and none of them wrong.

daddymarjoryOften home for me is where my family is. Where my parents, aunt, cousins, or sister are.  These people know me on a level where they’ve watched me become what I am. There’s no need to impress or tread lightly. They love me with a generosity and understanding that is worthy of it’s own post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes it’s with my friends, and the feeling is much the same. While 1465764_10102762320354710_496643496_othe time may not extend as far into the past, these are the people that turn the unknown into the present with me. Who hold and support me and laugh and cry with me. These are the family I choose as I go forward in life, and sometimes being in the company of ridiculous jokes, silly smiles, or bizarre banter feels like ointment on a raw wound of solitude.

 

 

 

 

MegCampThose people and work, the humdrum productiveness of feeling like I’m supposed to be where I am and that I’m good at what I do… The laughter of children and the sensation of water against my skin or a clipboard in my hand… I’m already starved for it from the break, and can only imagine how great walking through the doors of the Swim Academy will be once I arrive back next week…

Sometimes it’s a house or an area or nostalgia or freedom or safety. I love crossing the Florida border and seeing the slow take-over of the roadside by palm trees. I feel most peaceful when walking (preferably the shoreline of a beach) at night.

 

 

Yes, that is my bed. Yes, that makes home twice as awesome! :)

Yes, that is my bed. Yes, that makes home twice as awesome! :)

Today, it happens to be my roommates- not necessarily their presence, but the awareness that they’re in the same space. The comfort of knowing that, should something go awry, I have hands to hold and hugs to gather.

Today home happens to be my closed door, my cats, and my bed. Today home is a warm, safe, isolated, furry fortress. Home includes the security that once I get there I get to stop for the day. I get to be done. I get to rest and heal.

Today home is the finish line and I know it’s only time and a car ride away.

 

Home in all it’s facets is a wonderful thing. I can’t wait to arrive. :)

~all the love~