Just to mix things up, I’ll begin this entry at the end. As a shiba inu would say: “Computer. Wow. Very fix. Much work. Good run. So satisfy.” My computer not only works, but it works better than it did before. It has a new expanded harddrive, an updated OS, and a better graphics card. The best part? As though following orders from Jean-Luc, I made it so.
Alright, that’s enough backward story telling because my head feels like it’s having a brain baby and thinking too hard makes it kick. Chemo hasn’t been kind to me this round, and yesterday was a great example of just how many things can go wrong with a body at the same time. As I was key-poking my way around in an attempt to pull something of worth out of my addled brain meats, I noticed that things weren’t quite acting right… And then the screen did it’s best impression of that lights-out moment in a slasher flick — pitch black and filled with a sense of impending doom.
It was very doomy indeed.
I’m going to go into more detail about how the rest of the ordeal went in my next entry “Feeling Competent,” so that I don’t ramble too long. Bottom line though– my harddrive had magically transformed itself into a paperweight. (I have been advised to go rip it apart and take its magnets as trophies, and I’m definitely thinking about it).
From here, the challenge became timing my technological tinkering. The problems hadn’t sent me postcards and so I was left to do piecework problem solving. One test here and a hopeful attempt there– all in the lulls between my body deciding to reject the water I dared to put in my stomach and my bones demanding I lay down before they set fire to my nervous system. I’m not trying to whine either -I’m grateful I had those lulls.
Even more, I’m grateful that I DID it. It’d be a small accomplishment under normal circumstances, but I feel like I just replayed a game on insanity mode. I’ve never felt more victorious.
So I’m grateful for having a computer to type on again. I’m grateful it works because I was able to fix it. I’m grateful that even on a no-good, very bad day, I managed to pull off a win.
~all the love~