Today was chemo, and as such involved leaving the house early and returning relatively drained.
However, perhaps there’s no better time to appreciate something like the meaning of “home” then when you yearn for it the most.
Home is many things to many people, and none of them wrong.
Often home for me is where my family is. Where my parents, aunt, cousins, or sister are. These people know me on a level where they’ve watched me become what I am. There’s no need to impress or tread lightly. They love me with a generosity and understanding that is worthy of it’s own post.
Sometimes it’s with my friends, and the feeling is much the same. While the time may not extend as far into the past, these are the people that turn the unknown into the present with me. Who hold and support me and laugh and cry with me. These are the family I choose as I go forward in life, and sometimes being in the company of ridiculous jokes, silly smiles, or bizarre banter feels like ointment on a raw wound of solitude.
Those people and work, the humdrum productiveness of feeling like I’m supposed to be where I am and that I’m good at what I do… The laughter of children and the sensation of water against my skin or a clipboard in my hand… I’m already starved for it from the break, and can only imagine how great walking through the doors of the Swim Academy will be once I arrive back next week…
Sometimes it’s a house or an area or nostalgia or freedom or safety. I love crossing the Florida border and seeing the slow take-over of the roadside by palm trees. I feel most peaceful when walking (preferably the shoreline of a beach) at night.
Today, it happens to be my roommates- not necessarily their presence, but the awareness that they’re in the same space. The comfort of knowing that, should something go awry, I have hands to hold and hugs to gather.
Today home happens to be my closed door, my cats, and my bed. Today home is a warm, safe, isolated, furry fortress. Home includes the security that once I get there I get to stop for the day. I get to be done. I get to rest and heal.
Today home is the finish line and I know it’s only time and a car ride away.
Home in all it’s facets is a wonderful thing. I can’t wait to arrive. :)
~all the love~